Another night shift. Another quiet night at the Amiri Hospital medical emergency department.
Well, quiet in a “medical” sort of way. The people who come here certainly arent quiet.
You’d be surprised by the number of 30 year old chaps who pass by the “EMERGENCY Dept” at 3 bloody morning because the poor guy has a “sore throat”. I aint talkin about your pus discharging stinky malinky sore throat either. Im talkin about awwww you little girl sore throat…
“Call the doctor! This is an emergency!” They say… So i come running out the toilet half done with my urgent number 1, only to realise the little piece of sunshine has a “cough“…
I could kill someone. Emergency my bum.
This is in total contrast to ANY pakistani or Afghani dude. If they present with ANYTHING, work them up from A-Z, cuz these guys dont f**k around.
All they’ll say is “I feel a tickle in my left nipple” or something silly like “i feel a teensy weensy bit of dizziness. Drove here myself”
Experience has shown that, that tickle is most likely a heart attack.
That teensy weensy dizziness happens to be a MASSIVE stroke. And he drove here himself huh?
Then you get those annoying druggies, who are addicted to the strangest things. Promethazine (Phenargan) is one for example. Its a friggin anti histamine. You might as well get addicted to smarties.
And that guy who’s addicted to Rubicalm gel. I dont even know how the hell he’s putting that to use.
What happened to the good old days when fat little kids playing football fell and broke their arms with their bones sticking out and ended up biting me when we put it back in place.
Or when people did cocaine or heroine, or some random opioid.. At least it offered some excitement, and some minimal entertainment; by the time they ran to their car (to avoid legal proceedings) we would see them them brought back to our loving arms because they fell smack on the cold, hard ground of the parking lot because the antidote we gave them wore off.
Just another night shift.
Just another quiet night at the Amiri Hospital medical emergency department…